Parenting his hard. Understanding the “biblical view” on parenting can be even harder. And that’s because, for as much as we want our view of parenting to be informed by the bible, it has often been just as informed by our culture and politics.
If you’re like us and you grew up during the 1990s and early 2000s in an evangelical home, you likely had a set of experiences that are common to most of us. You know a long list of Christian bands that were meant to be substitutes for the bands you actually wanted to listen to. You missed out on pop culture references that were common to the era. And you may have even been subject to corporal punishment at an older age than most of your peers.
In this episode, we discuss how some common parenting values of suburban evangelicalism came into vogue by exploring the rise of books and related media like Focus on the Family and Growing Kids God’s Way.
As we discuss, we reassess what parts of our upbringing were a cultural trend rather than a theological absolute. We wrestle with what might need to be amended in our modern age, especially as we look to our own two sons.
Regardless of whether you are a parent or just grew up in a conservative evangelical home, we hope you’ll commiserate with us about the complexities of training children up in the way they should go.
Here are the links to the resources we reference in this episode.
- Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Du Mez
- The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind by Daniel J. Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson
- Familiaris Consortio: The Role of the Christian Family in the Modern World by Pope John Paul II
- Summa Theologica by Thomas Aquinas
QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE
There were a lot of things about the parenting culture of my mom's generation that feel a little old and tired now. And ironically, that's also the way I feel personally. Share on X
American Evangelicalism was and is very heavily influenced on the Focus on the Family way of parenting. And the Focus on the Family way of parenting is very authoritarian. Share on X
At certain points, the 'Growing Kid's God's Way' philosophy feels a bit more like dog training than child rearing. Share on XThe religious right has really sowed seeds of fear that the world is going to 'take your kids.' Share on X
Looking back, it's a little disturbing to think that parents were relying so heavily on resources to parent their kids with the 'biblical model,' except what they were given wasn't necessarily the biblical model. Share on X
Fear based parenting is alive and well in the Church. Share on X
Part of the struggle in parenting is learning how to have both a healthy closeness and a healthy distance from your kid. Share on X
At the end of the day, parents need to value their kids as people. Share on X
My sons can't have faith through my faith. Everyone's salvation is dependent upon the Holy Spirit revealing truth to them. Share on X
